In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
