She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize