He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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