please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
