He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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