man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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