All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
