It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
