Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
