i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My pussy is not your playground.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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