Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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