those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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