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• (516): View more from New York

  onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle

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• (562): View more from California

  I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  THAT'S NOT NICE

  (703): View more from Virginia

  NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Found your bra

  (214): View more from Texas

  Where?

  (469): View more from Texas

  Hanging in the tree

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.

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