Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
