Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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