the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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