i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
