Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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