You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
