I could make wine with my vomit
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
