i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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