Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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