it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize