I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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