"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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