so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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