you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
