On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
