...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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