fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
