There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
