I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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