Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
