My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
