I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
