Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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