What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
