TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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