Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
