I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
