i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
