My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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