I think I am morally bankrupt
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This is the high leading the old right now
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
