Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
