The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
sex in a hospital.. check
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
