Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
