Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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