sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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