I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
