if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
