all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
