Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
