Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
