Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
