She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I am spending my child support on dildos
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
