i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
